The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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