Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
