He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
