I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
