then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize