Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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