"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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