How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
