just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
