It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
