I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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