Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
His nipple licking is glorious
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