no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
