I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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