I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize