So drunk its hurt
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
