I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
