Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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