she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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