i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
