So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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