so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
