it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
