I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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