No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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