It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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