Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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