i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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