remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
