Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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