i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
