Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am spending my child support on dildos
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
