i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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