as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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