i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well you can't waste a boner
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
