it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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