so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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