If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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