We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm always down for nudity.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
