what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
