White coat. Heels.
That's intense
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
