Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
