beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
