why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
