Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
