Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
