Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
