what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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