Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
