Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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