well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
