Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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