yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
