if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
