guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize