I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
