I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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